Trailer Park Excitement

Life in the trailer park makes for perfect poetry.

The water pressures low again
Lot 10 is doing laundry
If we all washed at the same time
Now that would be a quandary.

Music playing two doors down
Kept us awake last night
Paper thin walls just don't give
A lot of peace and quiet.

The neighbors food just smells "delish"
They have a barbeque I can see
But if I showed up with my plate
I doubt the invite would be free.

Run and look out the window
A car has just drove by
Looks like Lot 9 has company
Stopping in to just say 'hi!'

Life in a trailer park can be
Oh so very exciting
Cause there's always something going on
Like lawn mowing and lightening.

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The Ongoing Saga of Life in Lot 10; Upstairs

Update on the life and times of Mr. and Mrs. Scratch...



Mr. Scratch has been heard to quote, "I am for certain sure now that the humans intend to end our existence..." (quote taken from the book, Squirrels: A biography of the injustices attempted on our species, written by Mr. A.J. Leaper) As evidence, Mr. Scratch presented this.

"Last night, while attempting to find an alternate way of getting in our house - because we all know that the humans in the down stairs apartment intend to take away our front door - I was yelled at by the man human something to the effect of extermination, either by car wheel or bb gun. I'm not sure which. I was too busy running for the nearest tree. Unfortunately it wasn't an acorn tree. He would have regretted what he said the minute I started throwing those acorns at him. I was champion marksman for my class in high school. I managed to hit the mailman every time he walked down Maple Street."

But there is yet another sad spin on this story. That very night the Scratches received a telegram dropped via rock, paper, string mail (rps mail) onto their roof. It stated that in attempting to cross a little used road, Mrs. Scratch's aunt's grandma's second cousin's best friend's uncle's son was chased by a man on a bicycle. Teddy was unable to stand the strain of the run and had a heart attack. By the time the rescue team arrived, he had already passed on to the great golden acorn gathering grounds. The bike in question is red with a basket on the front containing rocks, a sweatshirt, two water bottles and some lilacs. Any clues to the where abouts of said bike and owner would be greatly appreciated by the grieving family.

H.I. Storing

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Landlord's House Invaded

Mouse trap sales escalate as Landlord tries to get rid of mouse problem.

The Landsbury house is in a tizzy as they try and figure out how to get rid of all the little scampering mice. Mr. Landsbury says the house has just come alive with little pattering feet. There is one problem as to catching the little mice though, apparently the mice are so small that they are not getting caught by the traps. "Let us hope that these mice get bigger fast so that they will quit squeezing through the traps." says Laura Landsbury. Mr. Landsbury on his way down the stairs Sunday night accidentally stepped on one of the little intruders in the dark in just his stockinged feet. Little Jack Landsbury was also able to stop one of rodents after he found it limping across the living room floor. Apparently it had had a mishap with one of the traps and its right leg was not in complete working order. He was able to apprehend it with one of Laura's shoes. All of the Landsbury's are hoping to get rid of the rodent problem soon.

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The Upstairs Apartment in Lot 10

The squirrel population in the trailer park has been growing lately.


I talked with Mr. and Mrs. Scratch a couple days ago in reference to their recent move to the roof top location in Lot 10.

"We were evicted from our previous residence at 132 Oak Tree and just had to find a new place to live. With little ones on the way, you know, it wouldn't do at all for us to be stranded under a shed somewhere," says Mrs. Scratch.

"Yes. But the scary thing there is that these humans who live in the downstairs apartment have been heard talking about cutting down the branches from the maple tree that hang over the roof. That is our front door. Our front door and they are taking that away!" adds Mr. Scratch. "I don't know what we will do then. It will be a leap of faith, either from the electric lines or the neighbor's tree. We never expected this to happen to us. I just wanted a good home for my family."

Mrs. Scratch jumped in then. "And another thing about these humans. They are pounding on our floor all the time! When the babies were small it would wake them up out of a sound sleep and they would all be crying at once. And now it's just a nuisance. All that noise all the time. Between the kids playing catch with the acorns and the pounding on the floor. My nerves can't take too much more of it."

"The space is getting a little cramped though, dear," said Mr. Scratch. "You know it has just been getting smaller and smaller ever since you let your second cousin's aunt's best friend's kid move in with his family. Those birds take up more room than a missile. And they are just about as destructive! They have added more noise and annoyed the humans more than we have. I don't mean to frighten you, but I heard something about bb guns too. I think they mean to exterminate....oh! Dear, come back! It will be alright! Oh, come back..........."

Well, I guess I will leave them to settle their living problems. Obviously it's a tad hard for them and the stress is showing.

H. I. Storing

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