The Ongoing Saga of Life in Lot 10; Upstairs

Update on the life and times of Mr. and Mrs. Scratch...



Mr. Scratch has been heard to quote, "I am for certain sure now that the humans intend to end our existence..." (quote taken from the book, Squirrels: A biography of the injustices attempted on our species, written by Mr. A.J. Leaper) As evidence, Mr. Scratch presented this.

"Last night, while attempting to find an alternate way of getting in our house - because we all know that the humans in the down stairs apartment intend to take away our front door - I was yelled at by the man human something to the effect of extermination, either by car wheel or bb gun. I'm not sure which. I was too busy running for the nearest tree. Unfortunately it wasn't an acorn tree. He would have regretted what he said the minute I started throwing those acorns at him. I was champion marksman for my class in high school. I managed to hit the mailman every time he walked down Maple Street."

But there is yet another sad spin on this story. That very night the Scratches received a telegram dropped via rock, paper, string mail (rps mail) onto their roof. It stated that in attempting to cross a little used road, Mrs. Scratch's aunt's grandma's second cousin's best friend's uncle's son was chased by a man on a bicycle. Teddy was unable to stand the strain of the run and had a heart attack. By the time the rescue team arrived, he had already passed on to the great golden acorn gathering grounds. The bike in question is red with a basket on the front containing rocks, a sweatshirt, two water bottles and some lilacs. Any clues to the where abouts of said bike and owner would be greatly appreciated by the grieving family.

H.I. Storing